Thursday, May 7, 2015

Sorry, I don't do that with guys.

Sometimes I forget that not everyone views two people of different sexes hanging out the same way.

I mean, seriously, if I see a guy and a girl walking and talking together, I will just think it's two friends talking. I don't instantly think their in a relationship, I don't instantly think the girls a slut, I don't instantly think any worse or better of either of them for hanging out and talking.

Perhaps it's because I don't worry about these kind of things. I don't think, when I'm walking around with a friend and talking, how other people are thinking about me. I'm not constantly worried that I'll be looked down on, or forced to pay some sort of consequences for hanging out with them. I figure if anyone I know, or who actually cares about me at all, finds out and is bothered by it for some reason, they'll come to me and I can explain it; and I really don't care what anyone else thinks. If Random Jewish Shmo/Shmoette thinks what I'm doing is some terrible sin, I don't really care, What's important is that I don't think I'm sinning, I don't think God think's I'm sinning, and in any case whether I am or not is between me and God, not RJS.

But not everyone is like that. Especially if they're female. Pressures in the Jewish community on females about "reputation" are thousands of times higher then they are for males, and I'm even less worried about "reputation" then are most frum Jewish males. If a frum Jewish girl is seen walking around with a guy in public (especially if she's into the dating scene), she better be prepared to answer to her parents, her friends, and every self-appointed nosey Moral Guardian around.

This is a particularly annoying problem to me (to say nothing about how said actual females feel about it) because I tend to get along and feel more comfortable in general around girls then guys, and as a result have a lot more female friends then male ones. So when I ask one such friend if they want to go for a walk/hang out over the weekend, it's a forehead-slapping moment when they say no because I'm a guy.

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